These walls crushed me, I couldn’t breathe
Whenever I started doing something, I couldn’t do it with ease
I became confused, not understanding anything
I knew that I couldn’t do it, I was awaken every night barely sleeping
I wanted to escape this thing called life, what was the point of going on?
No one understood me, where did I belong?
People told me to seek help, who could help me?
I thought psychologists and counsellors read mind, there were things I didn’t want them to see.
I wanted my privacy; I didn’t want them to pry
But I couldn’t take it anymore; I had no tears left to cry.
Should I just talk to them? What will everyone think of me?
Am I crazy? Am I overthinking? Is this how it’s going to be?
Finally I reached their doorsteps, wondering whether I was doing the right thing
All these numerous questions and doubts were swirling in my mind
The session was liberating, I felt like I could breathe once again
Finally I realised I wasn’t crazy, I was mentally in some pain.
I realised I had someone who wouldn’t judge me
Not making me doubt myself and letting me be me
After few sessions I felt light like a feather
The self-pity and anxiety lessen, it was so much better
Those sleepless nights became events of the past
This new happy me became true to herself at last
-Radhika Srivastava