Do you agree that it is ok that we fail at times? Failing one time or even several times doesn’t mean you as a ‘person’ are a failure.
Sometimes you may get thoughts such as these: “if I failed on this” then it is equal to me being a total failure’. These negative thoughts are unrealistic because these are over generalized statements and have far reaching negative consequences. For example, one may feel worthless, de-motivated to try, may start developing inferiority complex, or experience depression.
During such tough times, one needs to be self-compassionate and take care of oneself. One should take time off to sit back, relax and think calmly, dispassionately and objectively about the host of reasons that may have contributed to such a scenario. Further, one has to give time to figure out the strategies that can be used to minimize such issues in future and to decrease the impact of the mistakes/failures. But most importantly, it helps to correct one’s excessively harsh /negative self-talk; and not hesitate seek help from close ones. If these efforts to help yourself or to take support from your friends and close ones are not helping enough, it is perfectly alright to take help from a professional. Getting into a depressed state is not your weakness- it can happen to anyone and you do not have to deny your negative feelings. Moreover taking help is a sign of strength and courage. Resilience is about bouncing back and your environment and the support you receive are important resources that can help you to bounce back.
For the next one month, please use the following worksheet to help yourself deal with mistakes and failures more effectively.